On Surrending, Control and Comfortability with Uncertainty

Good Evening Everyone!
Well, I had an interesting day; actually I have had an interesting week chauffering my lady around while she ran from place to place trying to get everything all done this week. It seems like we are running about nine races at once, hoping we will get the pole position in at least one of the races to make our run for the front of the lineup. It has not been easy these past ten months for sure!

My lady and I have thought a lot about the path our life has taken, particularly over the past 15 years and one thing is very certain–there is a tenuous relationship between surrender and control in both one’s professional life as well as in one’s personal life. It almost seems as if in order to guide oneself in the life path one has chosen, a person has to surrender most of the control to a higher power or, for those who do not subscribe to any type of spiritual belief, to something outside oneself. In turn, this surrendering leads in time to a comfortability with the entire uncertainty of the situation that one often times finds oneself in. The feeling that occurs when this is all taking place–the metamorphosis if you will–is sometimes disconcerting and bewildering. And sometimes downright scary–like being at the top of the first downward drop on a rollercoaster. You know the feeling–the exhilaration, the trepidation, the anticipation (and the fear) all rolled up in one feeling that is amazing. I wish I could bottle that feeling and keep it on the shelf to refer to it now and then; to hold it, examine it, embrace it and try to get comfortable with the feeling itself. But I am beginning to understand one thing, and that is that without surrendering to the feeling, without actually letting go, one cannot embrace all the nuances that life can bring. It is at that point–at the point at which I want to tell my lady to slam on the brakes or downshift several times at the very least, that I must resist. I must encourage her to press on, to let us bank on the turn and slide through the corner even if we only nearly miss the wall. And it is then that I promise that while surrendering to the force of gravity that pulls us around the corner, I won’t let her fly out of the car, but I will embrace her solidly and we will pull around the corner together, having worked through whatever uncertainty that life has thrown at us while banking that turn.

Have another wonderful evening!

Sweet dreams and happy racing–

The Car

On Beginning, Moving On, Bluebirds, Throttles and Downshifting

Greetings again friends!

I hope everyone is well this lovely evening! I promised in my last post to tell you the story about the bluebirds, so here it is. Have you ever wondered why bluebirds are referred to as the “Bluebirds of Happiness”? And, perhaps most importantly, how many of you have actually seen a real bluebird in its outdoor habitat? I would venture a guess that not many of you have. Yet for years, the bluebird has been a symbol of prosperity, good health and happiness. There are bluebird statues, bluebird cookie dishes, bluebird nesting boxes put up in open meadows and backyards for the sole purpose of attempting to attract this somewhat elusive creature to one’s environment. My lady had even put up a bluebird nesting box in her backyard at one time which she had pretty much turned into a backyard bird sanctuary, complete with feeders, flowers which attracted certain types of birds and all types of nesting boxes and woodland arrangements that small birds and all types of critters could overwinter in. Prior to the bluebird sighting I am going to tell you about, my lady and I had only seen bluebirds–three of them–a few times in the yard after we had put in the bird sanctuary. So, this time was really special. Special because it was in the middle of a blinding snowstorm that we sighted three bluebirds huddling in a barren tree next to the deck of the house! Yes, my lady had been worrying a bit more than usual because she and the children were stranded in their home during a blizzard with no transportation out, little funds and no hope for any relief for the next 24 to 48 hours as the snow kept swirling about. She was asking the universe to send a sign–anything–to give her hope that their lives would soon improve, when all of a sudden those three bluebirds swooped down onto the tree, huddled together and stared right at her through the kitchen window!! My lady stood there staring at these wonderful birds for about two full minutes and when she blinked to make sure she was not “seeing things” they were still there! Smiling, she silently figured she had her sign and took that to mean that the course that was about to be charted in her life and her children’s lives would ultimately lead her to happiness, even though at the time the emotional pain she felt was almost visibly palpable in her countenance. However, what she did not know at that time was that the happiness would not be an end in itself (which was what she was hoping for), but that she and her children (all six of them) would find happiness all along the way during the journey that she and they were going to embark on. In fact, little did she know that it would take her almost a decade to grow and understand enough to experience joy for the first time in her life and definitely a decade to break free from the emotional shackles that kept her from enjoying life. She was also going to have to become comfortable with uncertainty–something she had never been good at–in order to experience true joy. But once she did experience that joy, nothing could ever hurt her again–at least in a lasting sense. So I guess this is the most important part of our story together, these last ten years. I promise to collect my thoughts enough over the next few days so that I can more eloquently tell our story which is still unfolding, in greater detail. In the meantime, my lady continues to pick up speed enjoying life full throttle despite the obstacles and challenges that are being sent our way. In fact, I have to keep reminding her to downshift adequately at appropriate times lest we fly off our course!

Sweet dreams everyone–I look forward to chatting again soon!

The Car